dear judge alex, thank you for the art

whoever does these "recreations" is an artistic savant for godssake! i think his commentary on society is visionary.

L O V E

okay, so in around thirty minutes it will once again be valentine's day. totally no big deal or whatever, but it does make me think. it has officially been one year since a bought myself a rose and hung it on the dreamcatcher in my car, ill be damned if it isnt still there. it now resembles a shrunken head, but it is still hanging on and beating out all other forms of love ive received in said year. it has been almost two tears (o my god, that was an accident, but how freudian!) anyways two Years since ive been in anything resembling actual love, unless you include my love of rabbits, rilke, strawberry milk or iron butterfly and nick cave. i do not count these things because im pretty sure its all unrequited. after spending about ten years of my life in two serious relationships the very idea of being single for this long never occured to me. so heres my question: what happened? or rather, what has been happening in my life that either i dont care to share it with anyone else or that no one else care to share it with me? and likely it is a combination of the two, as i tend to be interested in people who are not interested in me and not interested in those who are. "i would never be in a club who would have the likes of me as a member" - groucho marx... okay, fine, maybe i do have a little of that going on, but i am also a firm believer in being moved by someone. in the past 18 or so months ive just not really been all that moved and when i think someone has the potential to be "moving" the whole thing just never comes together. or, more often, i try to pretend someone has said potential until i just cant stand to be around them anymore and oops, theres another person who gives me dirty looks from across the bar. now i certainly know some people dont consider me to be very good girlfriend material, well boys, thats because im single! this whole idea of marrying the two selves confuses me, single pam and relationship pam are two very different animals, like a unicorn and a flea. or something. im totally into domestic things, but im not gonna sit around and bake myself a pie to take on an all pam picnic. but i might do it for you, if i am moved to do so.

also....

here are some of my most recent painting series:

busy beast

doings:
dazzlestorm! as usual a blast;
we donned our gay apparel;some people donned their american apparel;and some of us spent way too much money on vodka and glamthrax;i did alot of other stuff this week too: like having to call amelia from outside of the ottobar and say "aw, maaaan, the kicked me out, wanna go to club charles?" and having to call my mom the next day and say "aw, maaaan, i cant find my car, can you come pick me up and help me find it, ive been walking around for an hour!" (she rolled up in her rollers and momma was real pissed, and made several comments about my level of maturity considering im almost thirty) i also sprained my ankle. yay me!!! to make up for all of this completely age appropriate debauchery today i cleaned my room, i hated it. so there, im back on the heaven train.
oooooooohhhh, yeah i also discovered this:no i do not have tiny hands, they larged up the red bull cans.....YES!!!!!!

real quick, i gotta go to work now

okay, im watching judge alex. one adult is suing another one over the price of a coat and i swear to god one just said:
"i dint know what im sposta do, i go to get mah coat and she had put doodoo in mah pocket!"
i swear to god! watch more tv people, its sooo good for you, the worse garbage you think it is, the more it is filled with these little gems that will probably make you smile all day long. oh and by the way, it was human feces. just imagine that thought train......sitting on the toilet.....mad at la'toroniula......ohhhhhhh, imma put doodoo in her pocket! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
and if you havent seen this little gem:

okay bye

absolutely no funeral parking

thats what the sign says in the parking lot of the coffee shop im in. Absolutely no funeral parking, fortunately im just squatting here for a few hours drinking one cup of coffee, taking up space writing this masturbatory bit of whothehellcareswhatyrdoinpam. so, yeah, i parked there, absolutely. i really need a place to live with internet, i just told an old lady to "get serious" because rather than telling me to move my chair in she just pushed up against me and made that imanoldladythatspissedoff huff puff thing they do. "get serious, lady." honestly.
heres something thats growing:i've been thinking about playing the lottery alot, especially since i watched this program on the television about how all these crazy rednecks who had won the lottery (not at the same time mind you, that would be a sure sign of the apocalypse) totally trashed their hillbilly lives by buying, like nine hundred carat gold spittoons and shit and had their dead memaws bronzed or whatever. anyway, im sure i would do the same thing sort of. i think id start with a nice goat farm for my own tactile purposes, not textile, tactile. then id have to pay all these people to take care of the dirty work so i can pet a bunch of goats at the same time whenever the thought came to me. i would not buy myself a private jet because thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard. man, you shoulda seen this one hillbilly with his private jet, god was that ridiculous. and the clothes!!! i didnt know they made diamond encrusted bolo ties! ugh, and you know next week ill take that back when i roll into the bar wearing one like "what? bolo ties are awesome, whatre you dense?"
thats pretty much what im thinking and doing today....

and god said....let there be blog

okay, so i am sick and broke and hungry so im gonna make this here blog. because what could people possibly want more than to hear about more than fevers, empty wallets and finally tiring of myspacing and drawing pictures? heres some pictures of things i did from the past week:

hung out with my bestgayboyfriend
in this chanel/benetton ad
i also made this peacock:pietro djed at kaleidescope and it was fun:


i was sincerely wanting to put up more photos from this night, but the internet is a dick